Polly and the Kidney Bros

My brother in law Greg aka Prince Valium (a reference to the calming affect he has had on my usually high-strung sister) is the kind of guy whose strategy for falling asleep is to imagine what he would do with a few million dollars. 

Not how he would spend it but how he would distribute it others to do the most good. 

Yes he is for real!  When he was found to be the best match for kidney donation to his brother Jeff the possibility of risking his own life to save another must have seemed like a dream come true.

The recipient of a donated kidney generally heals quickly and feels good right away as though he has been jumpstarted.  The donor's body on the other hand must adjust to functioning on only one kidney so recovery is a considerably tougher.

An important indication that everything is working properly after the surgery is the passing of gas.  In the typical spirit of brotherly competition Jeff was bragging that he was having great success while Greg had been having difficulty which was a cause for concern. 

Polly, my daughter and I went to the hospital to visit the recovering brothers and to lend a helping fart machine! 

We did the usually fart machine in the elevator but its funny how nobody even looks at a woman in a wheelchair at the hospital even when she is making a variety of loud gas sounds!

Clay Carnival in Las Vegas

We also attended the Las Vegas Clay Carnival put on by Kato Polyclay. 

She was a huge hit with the Japanese women that attended - They all wanted their photo taken with Polly and were surprisingly appreciative of the fart machine humor.

Perhaps this little device could aid intenational relations!  Let's send one to Secretary of State Condi Rice.  I'd love to see her break the eaternal gridlock of mideast peace talks with a well timed press of the magic button.  Wouldn't it be great to see those guyes snorting with laughter for a change?

Polly Merclay CHA CHA CHA!

At the Craft and Hobby Association Convention (CHA) Polly met a lot of new people.  Here she is with Suze Weinberg at the Ranger Ink booth.

Suze is an author, artist, instructor and television personality that is known for really creative applications for UTEE (Ultra Thick Embossing Powder), a material I'd love to experiment with.

I made Polly a special T-shirt for the convention that reads:

POLLY MERCLAY CHA CHA CHA

The National Polymer Clay Guild had a boothe at the show which Polly and I took a turn manning, womaning?  Dolling up?

We made good use of the fart machine - when someone would walk up and take a closer look and Polly, bending over we'd fire one off and reactions were mixed.  Laughter, embarrassment and even one person leaned over and whispering to Polly took responsibility for the emission.  A few seconds later we realized the truth of it LOL

Polly and the Pokies

Polly and I went to Las Vegas for the CHA Convention and to hang out with some fellow artists at another event directly following. 
We met a lot of wonderful people and Polly even did a little gambling.

She didn't do any good at the machines but we had an extra fun time because Polly is now equipped with a fart machine that is activated with a remote control that works all the way across the room.

I had the remote at my belt and Polly just sat there assuming the innocent look.  (She's good at that!)

We were there over Super Bowl weekend and had a great time especially in elevator.   Funny how the simple press of a button can empty a packed elevator on the next floor or make so many people burst into laughter. 

I like to think that everywhere we go we spread a little happiness... or something!
Hmmm... This will add a whole new element to the toilet sitting trick we like to play on visitors!

We Three Witches

 

Last year was fun but I wanted to be a little closer to the action this time.  I'm pretty good at sitting very still not making any sound or discernable movement  probably owing to to all those years in church...  So with the aid of some makeup, a wig and an electric blanket I was able to sit for hours on the porch passing for one of Polly's friends.

People around here are fairly used to seeing Polly sitting on the porch and even wave or say hello when they pass by.  Adding another friend or two wouldn't seem terribly out of character.

Since our house has a bridge leading up to the front door there is plenty of time for trick-or-treaters to wonder about the nature of the women on the porch as they make their approach in the dark.  (These photos were taken with a flash so try to imagine the scene in the mostly dark, the cobwebs gently waving in the breeze...  BTW- Its very difficult to make Morning Glories look sinister but I did try!)

 

Just as visitors would get close, staring from one still face to another there is a scream from a motion activated device that goes off at their feet and since there is no movement or reaction from the women its seems pretty certain all three are dummies. 

Assured and bewildered they begin to look around and see they cannot reach the door or bell but spying the basket of candy in Anna's lap, they reach for it in something like relief. 

This is when I leap forward and shout "HEY!  You didn't say, "Trick or Treat!""  The word must have got out because there were cars driving up to visit only my house.  I really scared a group of older kids that kept saying, "I thought you were the fake one!" and "this is the best house ever!"

I live for this stuff!  Unfortunately I think I may have traumatized a little princess for life.  It wasn't that she was close enough to actually see me come to life but her mother and her friend's mother nearly trampled her trying to get off the bridge!  No matter how much I apologized or how much candy I offered she kept screaming and wouldn't come near me.

I love Halloween... I can't wait until next year!

Polly has a sister.. or maybe cousin

I made another life-size doll and it was suggested I name her Anna... get it?  Polly, Anna, Polly-anna? (Thanks Leah!)  I like the name partly because she reminds me of someone I knew with a similar name.

Unfortunately that person is my ex-mother-in-law.  The grey wig is actually from my xmil so I guess its fitting.

I don't like her as much as Polly but what better time for her official debut than Halloween?

Who you callin' Dummy?

Our neighbors have become used to Polly and are now tricking their families and friends.  Occasionally we wheel Polly out on the porch.  Neighbor drive by, honk and wave.

Two little girls visiting across the street shouted from the porch , "Hello, Lady in the Pink!" 

Getting no response they started riding their bikes and repeatedly rode past our house waving and saying hello to Polly.  My husband, thinking this was great fun started turning Polly's head after each pass when they were beyond sight. 

The girls began arguing about whether they had actually seen her head move because "I swear, she was looking the other way before!".  Finally the bravest of the two rode right to the end of the bridge and got off her bike, had a really good look and shivering rode away on her bike muttering under her breath "Dummy, Dummy, Dummy..."

Puget Sound Bead Festival

Polly rode with me on the 900 mile drive from Salt Lake City to Tacoma Washington for a bead show.

I love to travel with Polly.  She never complains or asks "are we there yet?" and if someone farts in the car I can blame it on her and she doesn't protest.
 
Rest stops are fun because people walk by, jump, laugh and then immediately call over their traveling companions. 
At the show she sat patiently in the booth startling passersby.

At the end of the show the entire security staff came over to tell me the first night of the show they were doing a walk through and noticing there was still someone in the booth inquired, "M'aam?  The show is closed now.  Excuse me M'aam, you need to g..."  Suddenly the truth dawns as a thrill of terror sweeps over him and you guessed it. 

"Jose, can you go check outa isle 3?" Another guard is called over and the scene repeats.

Punk and repeat... Punk and repeat...

As a nod to Ashton Kutcher's show, Punk'd and in admiration of his wise appreciation for the "older woman", I bought Polly a little necklace that says, "I love Ashton".

One of the great things about travelling is getting to meet online friends who have followed Polly's adventures.  Here Polly and I pose with Helaine, an online artist friend who stopped by the show to say hello.

And now we wait...

We had a buddy staying with us for the ski season and this is the view from the doorway of his room.  His girlfriend (ahem... extremely jealous girlfriend) was visiting from out of state and we figured we could sort out right away whether or not she has a sense of humor. 

Turns out she did but HE was rather alarmed every time he walked into the room

Australia Day Party 2005

Polly was preparing to party hard at our annual Australia Day Party. 

In a kangaroo costume I made for my Aussie husband she sat overlooking the party with cans and bottles of Foster's and a stuffed joey in her pouch.

Amazingly several people had been at the party for hours before being startled to realize they were standing right underneath her.

Shrimps on the Barbies, one of our Aussie Day Party Traditions:

Politics and Polly

Polly is pretty quiet about her political views and makes no assumptions about the affiliation of others. 

She does however believe strongly in exercising your right to vote.  Sadly she cannot vote nor run for office.  Dolls will not be granted that solemn right until all doll unite and argue their case in the high courts of the land which, judging by the distinctive lack of motivation that is intrinsic to a doll's nature I don't see happening any time soon.  In the meantime, don't you be a dummy.  Vote!

Polly's First Halloween

Halloween 2004 - I LOVE Halloween!  Polly was a huge hit as she greeted the Trick-or-Treaters on our porch which can only be reached by crossing a wooden bridge. 

I set Polly up in a witch costume on the dark porch in front of the door without any candy.  Trick-or-treaters would have to walk across the dark bridge and reach past Polly to ring the doorbell . Approaching the porch a motion-sensitive shrieking was triggered startling the already nervous visitors.

Those kids earned their candy at our house!

Very small children were really nervous about approaching and often sent their parents to ring the bell while they waited halfway across the bridge poised to run.  Even the parents looked a little anxious about getting that close.  (Maybe they saw the Child's Play movies) 

The big kids were the most fun though.  It became a test of bravado to the boys running in packs trying to get their last year of free candy.  You could see them holding their breath as they attempted to bravely swagger across the bridge in front of their friends and then just about jump out their skin when they got close enough to set off the shrieking!

At least one Trick-or-Treater refused to cross the bridge saying "Hey!  I don't need candy THAT bad!"

I of course was standing just inside the door giggling and snickering silently.  The really jumpy kids would elect one of their number to get the doorbell then the rest would hold out their bags at arms reach but never take their wide, unblinking eyes off of Polly... just in case!

Happy 1st Birthday Polly!

September 2004: 

After a big night celebrating birthdays (Polly's 1st) at the annual artists retreat in Colorado I woke to find Polly wearing a rather satisfied expression.  She sat clutching her empty bottle of tequila, an apple balanced on her head, a roll of Smarties between her fingers like a cigarette and a second place ribbon. 

Clearly she had a little help with the tequila!  Likely culprits? Belcher, Shriver, Kato, Macaw, Mojito Mama...  I just wonder who won 1st Place and for what!

Patriotic Polly and the kind stranger

Labor Day 2004 - Polly gets patriotic sitting on our porch.  A few days later I spotted a kindly gentleman get out of his car, stood on the sidewalk and started chatting to Polly.  Eventually he walked up the bridge chatting away to Polly the whole time. 

He had seen her sitting outside for several days and figured she was probably a lonely widow since a broken sprinkler system gives our "lawn" and do use the term loosely if not sarcastically, the distinction of being the most neglected in the neighborhood. 

He stopped by to offer to come mow the lawn for no charge.  It was a little embarrassing because indeed our "lawn" but if I could have gotten away with it I probably would have put my hand up her back and made her nod and saying, "Why thank you kind sir, yes, that would be lovely". 

But I ws a little embarrassed for him.  I mean he'd spent 5 minutes talking to a doll!  And what if he was really hitting on her?

Polly is Family

My mother-in-law came over for a visit and really took to Polly.  We talked about bringing her to Australia the next time we visit but decided it might be hard to explain why I'm traveling with a head in my suitcase!

My mother-in-law has a collage in her home with photos of family.  One day I noticed there were more photos of Polly on the board than her own granddaughter!

Polly and the Police

We answered the knock on the front door to sight of a policewoman laughing so hard she couldn't speak.

Utah's finest came over to investigate a concerned citizen's report of an elderly woman sitting in our garage in a wheel chair unmoving for several days. 

Apparently there was a concern that she might be dead because she hadn't seemed to have moved in days..

The officer got out of her car and started toward Polly, "Ma'am?  Excuse me ma'am?" until she got right up to her just cracked up.

A second police car pulled up and another officer jumped out smiling with a camera, " I gotta get a picture of this for the department!"

The officers thought Polly was great, took a photo for themselves and then graciously posed so I could get this photo of them. 

We've had the police over a couple of times and I suspect its one of those things where you gotta break in the rookie by sending them out to do a welfare check on a doll!

The neighbors take notice

Its summer in Utah and we've taken to sitting Polly just inside the garage door looking up at the mountains.   

We live in a friendly neighborhood so when the door is open, people walk by, wave and say hello to her and then do a double take.  Kids ride by on bikes and look, then turn around and ride by again... no accidents yet.

We've seen people drive by, slow down and point at her and say, "There she is!".

Our UPS man has commented on how he had waved to her for months before delivering a package and getting a close look!

Bathroom Humor

Okay, I know this is less than dignified but just for a laugh we put Polly on the toilet with her head facing the door as a little surprise for the visiting friends and relatives.

After a long drive across country our friend who had stayed awake by drinking huge quantities of Coke bolted into the house desperate for the toilet.  Due to the shock, he said he didn't need to go anymore... not sure I want to know the details on that one!

We positioned her on the toilet again as a little greeting for my visiting Aussie Brother-in-law and neice to discover when we got home from a shared vacation. 

They were indeed surprised but not as much as our friend Mary who kindly stopped in while we were gone to water the houseplants

She said she was walking down the hall past the semi-darkened room in our empty house and saw what she thought was an elderly, possible homeless lady on the can and just about peed herself!

I figure Polly would make a great burglar deterrent.

Polly Amour

This is a photo of my husband Harry as I found him watching telly with Polly.

Hmmmm.... I must get him a t-shirt that says "Plays with Dolls"!

See what I mean about part of the family...this is Utah after all!

Polly could be a sister wife... uh, NO!

Polly meets an Out-of-Town Visitor

My internet friend Kellie is a very talented polymer clay artist visiting from Alaska.

This is us after meeting up for dinner a little shop talk.

This is Polly sitting in the car (safety belted of course) with Kellie and me looking like a deer in the headlights.   Click here to see Kellie's work